I did a photoshoot in Samarkand with a professional photographer and I now understand how celebrities feel... I had at least 1,000 people looking at me running and twirling in a 3m long tail dress and let me tell you, it was helpful to make me smile on every photo! 
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On this week's email:
- A month on from my French Polynesia tour, I wanted to reflect on the recent quiet but strong retaking of spaces once believed to be reserved to couples by solo female travelers. We are out there and we are not willing to leave any place out just because of how media has portrayed it for years.
- 50% OFF the last spots to meet me in person in London, discover parts of the city you didn't know about and give back to women in travel. Book your spot here and use code WIT50 to get 50% off.
- This week's podcast episode is an interview with Liza Abend, a writer and journalist who started traveling completely unplugged two years ago. We talk about the serendipity that having no plan brings which is the reason she started to do this, and how to navigate a hyper-connected work without your phone.
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We need to reclaim romantic spaces
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I spent most of August in New Caledonia and French Polynesia, two destinations considered the ultimate romantic getaway, especially the latter.
Overwater bungalows, beach dinners for two, vows renewals, heart-shaped islands, romantic sunset boat trips, in-villa flower decorations, breakfast brought to you on a canoe, double spa rooms, restaurants where all the tables are for 2,... I could go on.
This is a place that masters the art of celebrating love.
It was my second time in French Polynesia and this time, I was not alone, but I was on my first trip, from Christmas to NYE 2014, an extra couple-y time of year.
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I remember the waiters ignoring me when I said I was by myself, insisting on placing two pieces of bread, filling two glasses with water and keeping the table set up for two people even though it was just me.
I stayed at the same resort for about a week and this happened at every meal. It's as if they did not want to see there was nobody else.
They just could not fathom that anyone would go alone to a place where 90% of the travelers are honeymooners.
Surely, my wedding had fallen apart, or my husband was just unwell that evening. This repeated at the other 2 resorts I stayed at.
There are so many other places that seem to have become the monopoly of couples, fuelled by the luxury travel industry that promoted them as such:
- The Maldives used to be exclusively for couples when I fist visited in 2008 but with the proliferation of resorts and the increased competition, many have had to focus on families and even solo female travelers.
- Adults only resorts in the Caribbean, that may as well be called couples-only.
- Cave rooms with infinity pools in Santorini or luxury hotels in Venice reached only by private boats.
- Cozy igloos in the Arctic where you can cuddle up under the falling snow.
Not to mention all the hotels that do not have twin bedding rooms but only double beds. You cannot imagine how many are like this, it's the number 1 reason for us to discard a hotel for our tours and in some cities, it reduces our options down to just a couple of places.
You get the gist.
We live in a world that is increasingly individualistic yet the travel industry is still stuck in the past, marketing to couples.
And I can understand why. Couples on their honeymoon are the travel industry's favorite segment because, like first time parents, they are price insensitive.
The honeymoon is a once in a lifetime moment (or so we all think), so you are willing to spend whatever to make it memorable, unforgettable and over the top.
389 EUR for a romantic beach dinner? Amazing.
500 EUR sunset cruise with champagne and canapes? How wonderful.
250 EUR for breakfast brought to you on a canoe even though it is free at the restaurant? Sounds like the best idea.
1,000 EUR for a private lagoon tour to swim with mantas, rays and sharks? It will be worth it.
They know that the value is not only in the activity but in the moment shared and the memories built.
But, would you spend this much if you had nobody to share the experience with?
The assumption is that solo travelers are far less likely to spend irrational amounts of money to share a once in a lifetime moment with themselves. This may be aggravated by the fact that many of these activities need to be booked for a minimum of 2 people because they are priced for a couple.
2026 year marks the 20th anniversary of the movie that can be credited with inspiring many women to embark of journeys of self love and of finding themselves: Eat, Pray, Love.
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20 years later, many of our guests to Tuscany still mention Elizabeth Gilbert's journey and movies such as Under the Tuscan sun as the reason why they booked the trip. They knew nothing much about Tuscany, but they had a feeling for it because of her writing and stories.
The same happens in Bali, though to a lesser extent since the island has also become famous through younger digital nomads and influencers as a place for those seeking spirituality, and that is an eminently personal search that could well be motivated by a break up and not by romance.
But still, many come to Bali without a specific set of things to do or see, they instead wat to "find themselves", or go on a retreat.
Gilbert quietly started a movement that was probably the seed planted for more women to reclaim the spaces that were originally reserved for couples, for women traveling solo, or with friends.
She started a movement to seek bliss instead of happiness.
"Why have I been chasing happiness my whole life when bliss was here the entire time?", she writes.
The movement started with more visibility of women traveling solo, something that was lacking in 2006 when the movie came out.
I took my first solo trip in 2001 and there were VERY few of us outside of select places like London in the summer where students went in search of summer jobs and the opportunity to learn English, or Australian students on gap year in Europe.
There have been many trends and waves of solo female travel movements since, and most recently, romantic destinations have started to wake up to the desire of women traveling solo to experience them too, without the need for a wedding ring, a partner or a romantic backdrop.
There no longer needs to be a special, once in a lifetime occasion to celebrate life or oneself.
Women now travel solo because they want to, and need nobody or a major reason to do so, wanting is enough.
A recent snippet of the podcast episode between Meg and I talking about why women travel solo has gone mildly viral on Instagram, with dozens of comments from women acknowledging that they travel solo "because they want to".
Something is also quietly shifting in society, although not as fast as I would like it to.
There is far less shame around not having someone to share a luxury overwater bungalow with, whereas you needed a lot of confidence in yourself and self love back in 2012 to survive the sad stares of the staff who thought you had been dumped.
I am not one for caring much about what others think or feel, so it did not deter from my enjoyment, but it would have been annoying to many.
Women are also tired of waiting for the right time to do something. If the pandemic taught us anything it is that the future is never guaranteed and Baby boomers and empty nesters know that better than anyone else.
I have heard many guests of ours tell me that they are now booking all the once in lifetime trips they always dreamed of because they don't know if they will be able to in 5 years; waiting is no longer an option.
Younger women are not taking chances and are booking their dream trips now, they have understood the value of today's joy and enjoyment is much greater than the possible future happiness they could have if they saved.
It is a mix between Carpe diem and "I got no time to wait for others to get their Sh*t together" that I see most often.
We also want to contribute to that shift towards reclaiming spaces that were previously exclusively reserved for couples, that's why we have trips to places that women had been told they needed a man to share them with.
We will be your travel partner, we will share the special moments with you, we will toast to life at sunset and we will enjoy romantic beach dinners under the Milky Way together.
Our most "romantic" trips:
FRENCH POLYNESIA - Overwater bungalows included (Coming soon!)
The definition of romance and probably the place where honeymoons were invented, seriously.
Hotels only have double beds, if that didn't tell you everything you needed to know about who visits my personal story above should.
There are not many family bungalows or villas either, though some times of year are relatively popular with families.
But I am here to tell you we will be your travel buddies and share this incredible place where the Milky Way shines bright at night, sharks and rays come out to play every day and there are more shades of blue than you knew existed.
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| WAITLIST FOR FRENCH POLYNESIA |
Tags: Solo Female Travelers
